So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
