not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
