Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
