We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
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