You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
