If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Randomize
