they need to just BURY HIM!
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
