whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I feel great
I just peed on a car
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
Michael Bay diarrhea
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
i am craving dick and cupcakes
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize