Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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