Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Drunk is a universal language darling
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize