you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
