soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
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