Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
