Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
