wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
Randomize
