Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
