Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
