Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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