Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
apparently the officer said last night, "son, why don't you do yourself a favor and spread your legs so you don't keep vomiting on them". why can't I remember those nights?!
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
