Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
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