it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
