Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Alternately I could tell him western classical is just a series of events that had to happen for music to reach the point where Beyoncé was able to pen drunk in love, which is the pinnacle of humanity's artistic achievement thus far
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
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