I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
She's JV to your varsity
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
Randomize
