Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
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