I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
