im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Randomize
