Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
