I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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