I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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