That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I called her 20 times. Apparently she went home to do MORE shots before bed. Didnt miss me until this morning. WHO FORGETS THEIR HIGHSCHOOL SISTER AT A FRAT?
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
