People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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