Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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