Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
