I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
