D3 body, D1 cock
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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