This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
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