so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
