So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Randomize
