i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
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