I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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