My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Randomize
