Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I think I have vodka in my lungs
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Randomize
