i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
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