But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
foreskin is a definite game changer
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
