I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
