And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
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