dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
