Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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