my vag is so smooth its legendary
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
