yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
