Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize