Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Sometimes I wish I could peel his face off and use it to take all the money out of his account.
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
organizing the empties. That sober.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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