If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
There's a girl passed out on the sidewalk at the parade. Its not even 10am. She gave candy to children saying it was ketchup. Still think I have a problem?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
