I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
