Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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