I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
