i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
You asked to borrow my glasses for a moment. Then you whipped them at someone's head.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
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